That breaks my clomp.

Dear hot teacher,

You know how irresistable you are with your beautiful eyes and beautiful hair and beautiful everything, but this time you've messed up so badly that I want to punch you in the face no matter what. Really badly. Honestly, they should take away your diploma, rip it to pieces and then send you back to school. How you can actualy get away with being an extremely lousy and incompetent teacher at a TEACHER'S SCHOOL is a big mystery to me. The good thing is, if even you can manage to get your diploma and officially get to teaching, then I definitely can. Because at least I know that a teacher is not meant to destroy every bit of trust the student has in him/her by being a two-faced prick.

First I go to you and cry, because your subject just happens to be extremely nasty and involved a ridiculously large research report. You can't help that, I know, but for heaven's sake, you could at least have tried to make it more bearable. How do you spell that even? Anyhow. When a student with such immense failure anxiety approaches you in class CRYING, don't pull off your ridiculous fake sympathy trick! Don't promise help and support when you're eventually just going to let them fall and let them drown in their own anxiety and helplessness. But hey. You're new to this career too, so we can forgive you that, eventually.

Or I maybe WOULD have been able to if you didn't pull the exact same filthy trick on the ENTIRE CLASS. This assignment was actually not so bad. It wasn't hard and it made sense. It linked back to what we're about to teach to our students in the future. So today was Judgment Day; time for presentations. Because I've been a bit of a lazy bum (nothing new here) during the creation of the 'lesbrief', I would do the presentation. Normally I'm not bothered at all by having to present something. I'm going to be a teacher after all, if by now I'm still not able to stand there and have a talk, I'd be in the wrong school. Anyway. As the entire class does their presentation, YOU BURN THEM DOWN COMPLETELY, scaring the shit out of me. Really nothing they do was actally right and it seems majority is going to fail this paper. Then our presentation. You nod in approval all the time and make positive comments (I'll forgive you for talking when I was talking), which makes me and my fellow dear groupmembers feel very pleased. Your feedback to our presentation was the most positive of all! Cheers plz! The only thing we have to change, you say, are our footnotes and the fact you don't see any info sources. Oops, we forgot to mail you those while we thought we had. We explain this to you and once again you are calm, understanding, patient, positive. So we have to send in the sourcelist by mail and you'll check them. That seems actually decent! Class then asks you when the resuls will be in and you claim full-heartedly: "Oh no no no, definitely not this week. Next week at LEAST, I'll need time to properly read through these papers." We accept this, though we are impatient.

HOWEVER... During our next class, ten flipping minutes LATER, you've been able to send everyone an e-mail with their grade. Except the one group that failed their lesbrief because it was utter crap, AND OURS, because "your sourcelist is missing, you have made no footnotes and you have no cover". EXCUSE ME? No COVER?! Are you going to be bullshitting about things like THAT? So first you tell us how beautiful and amazing our lesbrief is and that you can't tell us yet whether it's sufficient or not, and tell us you will await our sourcelist. And ten minutes later you've already decided you can't grade our work because this and that and all that lark is missing.

Motherfucker, if you don't have a spine and can't keep your promises to your students, then don't say anything at all. Seriously, you're destroying our faith in you. People are starting to become afraid of you because we have no idea what you're going to do or say. You're two-faced. Anything can happen. And usually that's not the good thing. FFFFF!

I'll eagerly be awaiting your "feedback" on my the research paper that made me cry and I hope it'll be as positive as you told me in class. However, knowing you, you're probably going to tell me things in my paper you just said were fine are going to be the F of me.

Much love,
Your secret admirer.

PS: Stop being so inhumanly hot. All I can do is stare at you and imagine having sex. That doesn't help me concentrate on your horribly boring subject.