That breaks my clomp.

Dear hot teacher,

You know how irresistable you are with your beautiful eyes and beautiful hair and beautiful everything, but this time you've messed up so badly that I want to punch you in the face no matter what. Really badly. Honestly, they should take away your diploma, rip it to pieces and then send you back to school. How you can actualy get away with being an extremely lousy and incompetent teacher at a TEACHER'S SCHOOL is a big mystery to me. The good thing is, if even you can manage to get your diploma and officially get to teaching, then I definitely can. Because at least I know that a teacher is not meant to destroy every bit of trust the student has in him/her by being a two-faced prick.

First I go to you and cry, because your subject just happens to be extremely nasty and involved a ridiculously large research report. You can't help that, I know, but for heaven's sake, you could at least have tried to make it more bearable. How do you spell that even? Anyhow. When a student with such immense failure anxiety approaches you in class CRYING, don't pull off your ridiculous fake sympathy trick! Don't promise help and support when you're eventually just going to let them fall and let them drown in their own anxiety and helplessness. But hey. You're new to this career too, so we can forgive you that, eventually.

Or I maybe WOULD have been able to if you didn't pull the exact same filthy trick on the ENTIRE CLASS. This assignment was actually not so bad. It wasn't hard and it made sense. It linked back to what we're about to teach to our students in the future. So today was Judgment Day; time for presentations. Because I've been a bit of a lazy bum (nothing new here) during the creation of the 'lesbrief', I would do the presentation. Normally I'm not bothered at all by having to present something. I'm going to be a teacher after all, if by now I'm still not able to stand there and have a talk, I'd be in the wrong school. Anyway. As the entire class does their presentation, YOU BURN THEM DOWN COMPLETELY, scaring the shit out of me. Really nothing they do was actally right and it seems majority is going to fail this paper. Then our presentation. You nod in approval all the time and make positive comments (I'll forgive you for talking when I was talking), which makes me and my fellow dear groupmembers feel very pleased. Your feedback to our presentation was the most positive of all! Cheers plz! The only thing we have to change, you say, are our footnotes and the fact you don't see any info sources. Oops, we forgot to mail you those while we thought we had. We explain this to you and once again you are calm, understanding, patient, positive. So we have to send in the sourcelist by mail and you'll check them. That seems actually decent! Class then asks you when the resuls will be in and you claim full-heartedly: "Oh no no no, definitely not this week. Next week at LEAST, I'll need time to properly read through these papers." We accept this, though we are impatient.

HOWEVER... During our next class, ten flipping minutes LATER, you've been able to send everyone an e-mail with their grade. Except the one group that failed their lesbrief because it was utter crap, AND OURS, because "your sourcelist is missing, you have made no footnotes and you have no cover". EXCUSE ME? No COVER?! Are you going to be bullshitting about things like THAT? So first you tell us how beautiful and amazing our lesbrief is and that you can't tell us yet whether it's sufficient or not, and tell us you will await our sourcelist. And ten minutes later you've already decided you can't grade our work because this and that and all that lark is missing.

Motherfucker, if you don't have a spine and can't keep your promises to your students, then don't say anything at all. Seriously, you're destroying our faith in you. People are starting to become afraid of you because we have no idea what you're going to do or say. You're two-faced. Anything can happen. And usually that's not the good thing. FFFFF!

I'll eagerly be awaiting your "feedback" on my the research paper that made me cry and I hope it'll be as positive as you told me in class. However, knowing you, you're probably going to tell me things in my paper you just said were fine are going to be the F of me.

Much love,
Your secret admirer.

PS: Stop being so inhumanly hot. All I can do is stare at you and imagine having sex. That doesn't help me concentrate on your horribly boring subject.

Derp

Time for a new blog! Not that my life is so terribly interesting that I actually have to keep up with it, but I personally quite like blogging. When I was young I always kept a diary, I still have the whole pile of it. A while ago I was reading back into them and seriously, I was such an angsty, whiny kid, LOL! Glad to know nothing has changed.

Every day I take the same long, boring route to school. Having to take the intercity makes the trip slightly less dreadful because those are so much more comfortable and having to get out in Deventer in the freezing cold prevents me from falling asleep. Last week, however, I decided to take a whole new detour. Via Germany.... Sometimes I amaze myself with my intelligence, really. Only a genius like me could have pulled off something like this. I had to switch trains in Hengelo and take the international train from Germany to Almelo and Deventer. I feared I was going to miss the connection because we had a slight delay so I was glad to see the train was still there. So I took a ninja-dash across the platform, Superwoman-jumped into the train and performed a victory dance before I took a (not so) comfortable seat. But just as the doors were sliding to shut, I felt my doom crash upon me....

This was the fucking train TO Germany, not FROM. Insert facepalm here. I had no idea WHERE in Germany we were going and how long it was going to take. All I knew was that it was in GODDAMN GERMANY and I had no money on me. Bawww! So I went to pout and sob at the security guys in my very best German and all they did was laugh. Apparantly it happens quite often and all I had to do was wait for an hour and a half (!!!!!!!!) in the freezing cold for the train back to Hollanda. Eventually I was even in time for school!

And the shit with my school is -finally- arranged. I'm going to switch to History in September and then do an English minor. That way I can take my time to get my propedeuse and re-do my teaching practise.

And really. If you're trying to give of subtle hints, I'm not getting them. I've really lost track of what you're trying to say. Stop confusing me.

Last but not least, my sister and I had a snowball fight! I tried to add a photo, but Blogger is being a betch.

It's still December, so...

I still have a valid reason to whine and be emotional. Because everyone has a winter depression, right?

I can't stand the fact that now I'm really giving school my all, some administrative bitchery is going to ruin this or me. I should be glad though, at least the dean finally managed to send me back an e-mail, though the news he brought wasn't exactly something to do a happy-dance over. I have to unenroll from English and sign up for parttime History. But guys, I don't want to do parttime History! I'm a fulltime student, I just have to sign up for this bullcrap because you can't get your papers straight! How can you simply cancel a whole education? What about those tons of students who want to change majors because of the minor they've chosen? You're forcing them to stay at an education they don't want to do! All I want is to change my subject. In stead of following English I'll be joining History. Is that so hard to comprehend? Apparantly. Argh! Bureaucracy! I'll have to arrange shit with the examboard myself if I want to get anything done because the dean doesn't know shit either.

On a happier note, I really enjoyed playing 'secret Sinterklaas'. Because we're all adults, we no longer place our shoes to receive presents, but that's such a shame! Coming downstairs and finding a little present in your shoe is fun for people of all ages. So I secretely bought chocolate letters for my mother, sister and myself (There wasn't even a letter 'w'! So I bought the 'e' of Elmida) and those little mints for my dad and giftwrapped them. When everyone was in bed I got their shoes and placed them at the front door with the present inside, hehehe! Everyone seemed pleasantly surprised. We spent Sinterklaasavond with Ik Houd Van Holland, which was absolutely hilarious and after that we've been playing Cluedo until past midnight. Ack, I love that game!

Whoop, let's end this blog with that positive moment. *Thumbs up*

I shant bow down to you

Now my old quarrels finally are settled and new friendships made, new ones have sprouted from those ashes. This time they were nowhere nearly my fault, but simply because someone's ego has blown up so much that is is about to burst from the seams. So, you think you are above the class? You think your social virginity is more holy than our vulgair behaviour? No. You are not holy, nor virgin, nor much more intelligent than we are. Oh yes, you might have passed one or two more tests than we did and perhaps with slightly higher grades. But how do you enjoy these new developments, of belong along with us in the flock of people who failed this one test? And how dare you flame at your own friends for it? It's not their fault, arse. And leave -my- friends alone too, or I I will give you a horrorshow mighty tolchock on your merzky litso.

In the meanwhile I am sitting sick at home. Yesterday I was complaining about how I didn't want to go, but yeah... Sometimes you get what you wish for, though those things aren't often pleasant. On the way home my bowels suddenly started some riots with all explosive and violent effects to deal with. Oh and the non-existant lord grant me mercy, I was still two hours away from home, leaving me no choice but to make use of the train's doubleyou cee. I am convinced that I now not only have explosive bowels, but also some alien disease.

And with this rant finished, I shall close off with one final random statement: WE'RE HAVING SAUERKRAUT FOR DINNER, FUCK YEAH <3

What sits there all in an English breakfast?

Jesus H. Christ on a cracker, if I ever meet someone in real life with English grammar like that... Murder WILL commence. My own English hasn't been the best of late due to an extreme cause of lazyness and lack of give-a-damn, but come ON. Don't you listen to the television? Don't you listen to the lyrics of songs? Don't you read English everywhere in the world these days? Have you ever heard a ridiculous sentence like that in a sane piece of text? No. NO!

And now, the Middle Ages. Every new class we have to bring forward important events and persons from that era, like Alexander the Great for the Romans, Machiavelli for the Renaissance, William the Silent for Dutch history, etc etc. But... But when they asked us about the Middle Ages... *Insert sound of chirping crickets here*. Seriously nothing happens in the Middle Ages except for like... monks and monestries. How INTERESTING for a non-believer.

KRAWWWWLING IN MAI SKINZZZZ, THEM WUNDS DEY WILL NOT HEALLLLL. Which is an indication that my November angsty emoness is still raging. Oh, I wish it was December yet. Then it will be December angsty emoness, it's very closely modelled on the November angsty emoness but... Not quite the same. At least December has Sinterklaas and Christmas, the latter being less whooptiedoo for emotional lurnerlynezz. Yeah, my family will be visiting and we will be having the most delicious 'stamppot' dinner, but... Muh! It's not as if I'm particularly fond of my family, especially two of them with whom I'll most definitely be having a fight again because they are so confinced they are superior to me. BUT NOBODY IS SUPERIOR TO ME, FOOLS, HAAAAHAAAAHAAA-*chokes on cough* I want to cuddle on the couch and watch sappy movies and berlejrkehjt. I'll be single forever. FOREVER! Unless I lose weight. But... December = Sinterklaas = chocolate = fat. December = too cold to go outside = no exercise = MOAR FAT. And losing weight = exercise = either boring or = expensive. Bah. I'm doomed, I tell you, DOOMED. 

And my new timetable sucks. What do you mean, class on Mondays?! What do you mean, class on Thursdays?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN CLASS FROM HALF 3 TO HALF 4?!

This blog. It contains too much capslock.

Lelelelelele

I scored an 8 for Dutch History! Yaaaaaay~! *Runs around flailing arms* That is, if I hand in my portfolio this week. Portfolios! BAH! And now I'm sitting here waiting until I have my meeting with the dean, which is in 25 minutes. And suddenly I find myself being very 'melig', which is a bit sad because I'm here in the Media Centre on my own. Well, not really on my own but on my own as in there is nobody here I know. Or maybe I do know but... Oh well!

I had my dorko moment this morning quite early already. Actually it started yesterday evening. Today's exam/convo was at 11:30 so I typed that in on the public traffic site. Or did I...? Because suddenly I found myself at the train station at a quarter to eleven and I suddenly wondered since when it took the train half an hour to get to Zwolle. I TOOK. A TRAIN. TOO. GODDAMN LATE! Well not a real biggie because I just joined in on another group but I -did- miss the conversation with the teacher about the exam. Which was mainly because they had gone ahead of me and went into another classroom so I couldn't find them -_- Thanks very much for waiting. Oh well, in the end there was nothing I could have changed anyway. Teacher's will is law, remember that kids. And I guess that no matter what that teacher had said I would have just blushes and nodded in agreement. DAMMIT! It's not fair to disarm with looks.

So, I'm eating Samson&Gert cookies in a university's Media Centre... And of course I suddenly find myself having an immense BURST of novel-writing-inspiration and I have nothing to write it down ooooon!

Next month I'm going to start going to the gym. Yeah. The Gym, with capitals. It's the liar of my arch enemies. Skinny Barbie dolls will be observing me as I hobble along on the treadmill and hometrainers. But fuck, it's for a good cause. I'm sick of having to drag my weight around with me, or not being able to wear whatever the feck I want. SOON, WORLD, SOON! YOU SHALL OBEY MY BEAUTY AND ALL SHALL FAAALLLL MUWHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH*cough*

The guy next to me thinks he can type faster than I can. We haven't officially started a contest but I can see him sneakily glancing at my keyboard all the time, as if he's wondering whether I'm actually really writing something. Or perhaps he's wondering whether I'm human or not, because I'm so awesome. AWESOME. You know why? Because I scored an 8 for Dutch history, bitches!

And now I want to go home. Huwaaaaaa.

Mission Completed, 9999 EXP Gained.

I no longer have to see the shrink, the soul pincher, or what ever nickname you like to attach to it. I am sane again! Or that is what we like humanity to think. Everyone who knows me of course knows that sanity and me are like fire and water, like cat and mouse, like... Okay, you get the point. I did have a slight panic attack last week but I was able to correct myself and tell myself that I was thinking nonsense again, which is good enough for me and apparantly for the shrink as well. The fact I've gained a lot more confidence is hard to ignore, for myself and possibly for the outside world. How long can you stand this new arrogance, huh? HUH?!

Meh, of course it's not as if I don't have anything better to do. Tomorrow is the Egypt/Mesopotamia/Greek history test and it kind of sucks how much you actually have to learn for it. The plus side is that, other than with the Roman history test which I majorly flunked, I now sort of now what to study for which makes things a lot less solid and chaotic. Hopefully this will go better.

As if tomorrow's test is the only thing I have worries about... Tomorrow is the day the 'deurwaarder' was actually going to visit and take away my stuff. I've managed to arrange proof that I didn't have to pay the bill, but I have no idea whether those dear tax-people brought that message over to the money-collectors. But then again, the tax-people wanted the money-collectors to get the money FOR them and since they are now aware of the fact they can no longer get it from me, it would be useless to still send them, right? Right...? Bah, the woes of being an adult.

Ahh, November, the time of golden leaves and chilly winds. November of early darkness and necessary umbrellas. November, the month before December and other random poetic nonsense. But most of all, November, the time of nostalgia. I know I shouldn't still think back of then, that I should forget and move on, but I am only human and I am weak. She would have laughed at that weakness, as she now laughs at most things I do, the reason I should most of all forget. But I cannot, and refuse to, forget the better times. The times of November, the times of December, the times of walking around the city in the late evenings with the end-of-the-year lights on, the period of having to be picked up from the metro station to prevent being raped/robbed/etc. Of getting chocolate letters from her mother, of travelling home in the weekend after having proudly bought Christmas presents for my parents, my sister. And the time of returning there from Christmas holiday and having to hear it's over. I that city, I miss you, I miss your brother, I miss your mother, I miss your silly dogs.

My god, I didn't know a 20-year-old could be a sentimental old fool. I really shouldn't watch so many soap operas xD

Also: OH MY LORD THE NEW WHEEL OF TIME BOOK ARRIVED AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND EGWENE KICKS SO MUCH ARSE AND SIUAN TO AND OOOHHHHHHH. I'm really glad it was Brandon Sanderson to finish the series, because I can only say I like his style of writing. Yeah, sometimes his vocabulary is a bit too 2oth-century-ish, but it absolutely does not ruin the feeling and atmosphere of the story. It reads away quickly, it's Wheel of Time to the fullest. The only thing that is a MAJOR shame and most likely result of splitting the books into three is that little is actually happening. The Black Tower is not touched and thus neither is my favourite character who in my prejudiced eyes has a -very- important position in the story... And the promised return of my second-favourite character Moiraine has been delayed to the new book as well. Sigh. And so, with more than 60% of reading to go of the current book I am already desperately waiting for the new one, to be released next year. Or so they say.