Creative spasms

I seem to be having those lately and I find it hard to decide whether I'm happy about it or not. Of course one should always look on the bright side of things, but when those creative spasms involve having to use a drawing tablet and one's pen to go with the drawing tablet is still missing, it turns rather frustrating and nasty. On the other hand, when those creative spasms come in the form of writing, I get very happy. Last week I wrote a review on the latest Golden Sun: Dark Dawn game after finishing and I must say, I'm rather proud of how it turned out (the review, the game was rather disappointing). And it just happens to be so that today I've written two whole pages in Word on my novel. Guys, I think I might finish a chapter eventually!

One of my less positive spasms was the decision of quitting school. Again. It just happened to be so that my uncle decided to ask how I was doing, mainly in school, and he is one of the few people I just can't lie to. For a very long time I've been telling others and myself that things are all going well, while that is just one big lie. Mostly the keep up the appearance because I wouldn't want to look like an utter failure in the eyes of others, but also hugely because I had to convince myself I still really liked this education. And I did really like the communication parts, but there was barely anything of that going on. And then I wondered whether I'm really such a cold hearted sales bitch and I came to the conclusion that I'm not. So I quit, also because I was going to have to pay 5000 Euros of tuition fees per year from next year on and I really can't afford that. So now I'm on the hunt for a job and so far things are going pretty good.

There is one very important thing my time at this education has given me, though, and it has nothing to do with academic aspects. It just happened to be so that one of my classmates is befriended to a very old friend of mine that I hadn't spoken to in, well, years. Our mutual commenting on his Facebook page brought us together again and soon more of my old friends came back in my life. The tsunami of nostalgia is still a bit hard to deal with, but I can't say I'm not happy about this happening! It was very stupid of me back then to just kick them out of my life and I'm glad they're so forgiving as to have me back.

In the meanwhile the snow is slowly starting to drive me crazy, especially since Christmas has now passed and the Winter Wonderland doesn't really add anything to the atmosphere anymore. It's not just become a huge annoyance, especially for us poor mail delivering people. And really, Landal/Centerparcs, 70 kilos of books? Please. Ugh, hopefully tomorrow will be one of the last times I'll have to risk my life on the ice track with my bicycle, on the one side because I hope the snow will be gone asap and on the other side because that'll mean I finally got a better job.

Anyway. Back to writing some more on my Novel Of Fail of which I can hopefully soon present you the first chapter. Adieu!

Oh come there once looking

I love Sinterklaas! But sadly, it'll over again by tomorrow... Seriously, time flies like a jet engine. Which is good for moments that aren't as pleasurable, I admit, but the fun moments are over just like that as well. But for insane nationalists like me, Sinterklaas, WK and Kongininnedag are my favourite times of the year. And that's without even considering the pepernoten and chocoladeletters and marsepein.............. 

Blegh, school isn't going nearly as good as I thought. The only things I've passed are the Communication test, Project and Presenting. And of course this has Leonidas-kicked me into such a pit of lack of confidence that I'm going to have to go back to the shrink. Which I don't like. At all. At least my classmates appeared to be less horrible than they seemed at first. 

Last week there was a lot I wanted to say over here, but most of it was either too angsty and whiny or it made no sense whatsoever. So this will be it.

Impatience strikes once moar

Probably some of my worst bad habits are my insane impatience and greediness. If I see something I want, I WANT it and I want it INSTANTLY. Whether it's a beautiful person or a book I've been waiting for to be released for over a year. Talking about the last subject, I'm sitting here writhing in agony because it's not arrived yet. Everyone I know and likes the series already has the book and in fact most of them already are finished reading it. It's so unfair! Last year I ordered the book on Bol.com because they're always on time with their deliveries, but the book didn't arrive in time because of delivery problems. I thought I'd learnt from that so I ordered the book at the local bookstore but now it seems all the bookstores have trouble getting the books delivered and BOL.COM HAS A 100% GUARANTEE IT WILL ARRIVE TOMORROW IF I ORDER IT NOW. FFFFFffuuuu--. And why do I not order it at Bol.com? Well, I have a 15 Euro book voucher which they don't accept over there. And next to impatient and greedy I'm also stingy.

On the more positive side, school is going great. The Project was rounded off with a sufficient grade and so was the Presenting course. If everything's going right Reporting, Spelling and Communication are sufficient as well which means I should have earnt 11 ECs out of 60 so far! Doesn't that kick so much ass? Who knows, I might even get my Propedeuse in one year!

Last Sunday was the second NGamer Forum meeting and it was absolutely amazing! We went to Utrecht where we first had a couple of drinks at an insanely expensive restaurant and then we went to the bowling ally where we did some pictionairy before we actually got to the bowling. Unlike last time, my bowling skills were nowhere to be found and I ended up 17th out of 21 :C Thankfully the people who had shown up were really really cool (even the ones I hadn't met before) and the traditional visit to the pizzeria was really cool and delicious. Mozzarella pizza omnomnomnom.

Now I'll get back to sorting the FUCKING BLOODY SHIT MAIL and being in agony over not having Towers of Midnight wahhhhhhhh.

Xena the Special Effects Princess

So, it's Friday afternoon once again and I've once again created my messy private spot in the school's media center. This is starting to become a habit, heh. In contrary to normal blog moments I'm in a rather happy/satisfied mood. The dreadful project was rounded off this week; with a sufficient grade. It's really hard to bring across how much of a relief that is to me. A bit of a less of big surprise is my "more than sufficient" grade for presenting class! The teacher didn't even mention one point for me to improve, yay! Nintendo Benelux can be proud of me. Sadly, they won't know and if they did they would sue me for copyright infringement :')

Last week I was watching SyFy Channel (nerd alert, but I like it) and one of the most nostalgic shows ever was on: Xena the Warrior Princess! Seriously, I used to have such a bad addiction to that series... I just loved her weapon, that round throwy thing (is it a chakram?) en Gabrielle, her friend. And it's almost as good as it used to be when I was young, except now I notice the AWFUL special effects and how obviously fake it is :( I mean, come on, when a rope bridge falls down and Gabrielle is hanging off a cliff, Xena can suddenly somersault (why does she do that all the time anyway?) over the RAVINE to reach her? Lol. But it was still fun. And Lucy Lawless' legs underneath that short leather skirt.................... No complaints here.

Oh, and because I constantly forget to watch Moonlight on TV, I just.. .... eh, made sure I could watch the series whenever I wanted to, but sadly it made me discover the show only has 16 episodes in total because of the stoopid Hollywood strikes and it being canceled. Hurr, I finally like a series (and it's a GOOD one, with COOL vampires) and they do this to me! >:C 

Tonight is party time with Kees and Kees and some more Kezen again, and I'm really looking forward to that. I have no doubts about it that we're going to have a great time again! I AM really curious what's going to be for dinner because normally I'd be eating fries. Mmmmm... Fries....

Also, I've got this music stuck in my head and you WILL share my misery. In fact, these were the actual words Adam said to me when he sent me the link and... CURSE HIM!

Click me!!! DO ITTTTT!

And last but not least:

IT'S FALL BREAK. FUCK YEAH.

The Misty Mountains

Yeah, that's where I live now. It's pretty misty outside, which probably means it's cold and moist outside... ... Do not want :( There's 50 kilos of mail waiting to be delivered. Normally I'd be done with one round but we have to deliver these stoopid Postcode Loterij agenda's which weigh a TON. Waaaah, waaaah, whine, whine. There, I'm done.

I could whine a whole lot more about, surprise, school but I'm not even going to bother with those people anymore. I've done my share, deal with it.

Yesterday kind of taught me the lesson that barely five hours of sleep per night isn't exactly healthy. I already had trouble keeping my eyes open during certain lessons (and not even just because it's so extremely boring) and in the public traffic, but when I nearly fell asleep while CYCLING... Yeah. Guess I'm going to have to go to bed even earlier :( When I came home I decided to take a one hour nap because there was still LOADS of things to do, but I didn't set my alarm properly (5 pm and 15:00 aren't exactly the same) so I didn't wake up in time for dinner, lol. And mum let me sleep, which was pretty sweet.

Ahhhh, it's getting so nice and comfortably warm in here... I love you, central heating!

And yesterday was International Coming Out Day, no matter what Wikipedia says. I forgot to hang the anti gay bashing posting on the window, but I think it's pretty clear for the neighborhood that we're against that, lol. It makes me happy to know there's a day to show everyone there ARE people who support the LGBT community, though that should actually be done every day. Paul de Leeuw's show was pretty funny yesterday as well, heh. Yeah, go us.

Another rather positive blog, let's keep that up.

Go blood! (Happy blog, very rare)

Guess what, it's Friday afternoon again and I'm having a 3 hour break (seriously) before my last two dreadfully boring hours of class will start. It's pretty much like this every week and it's getting a bit annoying, but at least I'm not as lame as my classmates of which the majority just went home. Even though the difference between being home at 1 and being home at 6 is great, I prefer just going to class and picking up the knowledge.



Ha! My last presentation was awful, but this time it was GREAT! We had to tell something about a company or organisation and I chose to talk about Sanquin, the bloodbank. I can talk about that for hours in the first place, but apparently I'm very good at convincing people of things. (Maybe I should start a cult? That could be interesting.) My PowerPoint presentation looked great according to the teacher/classmates which was probably because I used Sanquin's "huisstijl". This was the first time I ever made a proper PowerPoint, actually. Maybe a hidden talent has been uncovered? But what made me happiest is that after the presentation two people came to me and told me they were now seriously considering to sign up as blood donors. This makes me a happy Kees!



You know what also makes me a happy Kees?



1) It's Friday!

2) That means: WEEKEND!

3) And fries for dinner <3

4) Sleeping in, ahh...

It's all great fun today, with the exception of waking up at 5 AM and the woman next to me in the train barfing all over. (No, she did it in a bag, but still, the smell, omg). I offered her a peppermint because I'm so awesome and I remember how awful barf tastes. And I had a few laughs with the classmates sitting next to me in class, huzzah! If only I could go home now and I wouldn't have to do Exercase tonight, waah!

And tonight Moonlight's on, which I really like. Mick and Beth are both such nice characters and it doesn't often happen that I like the main character of a series, let alone two of them.

Now that's a good question

Gosh, I'm sitting here and wondering why I'm such a emotional wreckage. It started out as a rhetorical question, but then I came up with a few possible answers.

A) Because I'm a woman
B) Because I've got my period
C) Because I fail

But then I started thinking about those answers and I realized something vital was missing:

D) All of the above.

And it's so stupid, you know. I'd be feeling a lot better if I cared less about what complete strangers think of me. Why should I be bothered about my classmates not liking my style of music, or why should I be insulted when they add everyone on Hyves except me? When did I start caring about Hyves and my number of friends in the first place? Man, have I become shallow. Luckily the sane part of me, it seems to take a holiday once every month, keeps reminding me of the fact that I have plenty of friends, and the best I can wish for, and I really SHOULDN'T care about all those little selfish twatwaffles. 

Oh hey, there's good news too. I thought I was gaining wait after this disastrously sinful month, but I actually lost a kilo! Wow!

Why am I always complaining? Can't I ever write a happy blog? Yeah. Maybe. One day. In the future. I'll let you know.